Warrior Training - The New Man Podcast

The journey of my spiritual warrior started and still lives in men's studies. Along the way I have found many articles, blogs and people who have helped me find my way. One person I've found is Tripp Lanier and more importantly his New Man Podcast. I have an on again off again relationship with the New Man Podcast. The reason I've listened to it on and off is not because it is mediocre. It is because the podcast is so very confronting. With the subtitle of "Beyond the Macho Jerk and the New Age Jerk" the podcast gets to the real heart of what it takes for a man to live a powerful life. If you've never looked into mens studies and don't think you need to take a listen. I promise, you'll be surprised.

Each podcast usually has Tripp interviewing a guest who has something to offer men on their own personal journeys or women trying to understand them. Actually, much of this could probably help women in their own lives as well.

The most recent episode had Tripp Lanier interviewing author Steven Pressfield about resistance and self sabatoge.

[ad#Google Adsense] Tripp Lanier not only has this podcast but he also has his consulting business for those willing to really take their lives to the next level. I have been tempted many times to look into it but I've still found myself unwilling to play that big of a game. Don't be surprised if that changes in the near future. However you might want to first check out "The New Manual." [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izTI5qKFJIo&fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0] Have any of you listened to Tripp Lanier? What are your thoughts? Are there other leaders in the mens movement you like listening to? I'd love to hear your comments and stories below. Thanks.

This Warrior's Troubled Journey

As I begin writing in my blog again I realize there has, for a long time, been a large hole in the middle of the week. My Wednesday Warrior posts have been lacking greatly. In 2010 only 3 posts were under this category and I have a feeling I know why. In an effort to change the direction of these powerful posts I would like to share the reasons I used to keep myself from writing what are usually such intimate posts.

Rough Waters In The Job Market

I had a successful 2010. I increased my value as well as finally moving into games programming and back to the west coast. However with that came great turmoil. January of 2010 saw me move my family from Wilmington to Chapel Hill, NC to work in Social Game development. That company got bought by Playdom in March and Playdom got bought by Disney in August. While my job survived the acquisition by Playdom it only lasted a few months after the acquisition by Disney. I was able to take the opportunity to find a new job on the other side of the country working with Gaia Interactive. Its a great gig and all has ended up well. So why did this stop me?

First on the list is me just trying to manage it all - and with a positive outlook. Writing these posts tend to bring buried emotions to the surface. This is usually a good thing. During this time I just didn't want to face those emotions. Second on the list is guilt. Everything continued to work out fine for me and other people are completely out of work and not having the luck I did. What did I have to complain about?

The truth is I am in the same bucket as everyone else right now. Worried about the security of my job. How stable is it? What will it mean if I lose my job? That meaning got even stronger with the other big storm that came through my life last year - health issues.

Health and the Family

My wife and I had been through a lot financially, and we've made ends meet with very little as we've had to. The job thing wouldn't have worried us as much if it weren't for the bombshell that dropped in May. Our 4 year old got diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes. All the sudden having stable, good health insurance became an all encompassing worry that hit me hard.

Context: Parenting with Type 1 Diabetes

I'm guessing people reading this don't know much about dealing with type 1 diabetes, because I didn't until I HAD TO. My wife and I have to check his blood sugar several ( read 5-7 or more if things are wacky ) times a day. This includes the multiple times in the middle of the night because we don't want him to run high all night and do long term damage or worse have him go really low and not wake up in the morning. We manage his blood sugar through injections of insulin ( we now have an insulin pump thank goodness ) throughout the day. There are no days off for this. This is our Monday through Saturday, weekends and holidays too. Traveling? We must remember the diabetes supplies, emergency glucagon injection, drinks and snacks to get the blood sugar up if need be. Of course we need to remember the stuff other parents have to remember too. [End Rant]

So I went along and I was coping, or so I thought. I was now running on similar sleep to when the kids were first born fairly consistently and I was getting worried about the stability of my studio so I was looking into other options. I guess the worry of this came crashing down on me one night when I had my first ever anxiety attack ( I thought it was more dire ) and went to the emergency room in the middle of the night.

It turns out my all the tests showed I was perfectly healthy except for one thing they wanted me to get checked out with my doctor, low blood platelets. Long story shortened, I ended up seeing a hematologist because this wasn't an errant reading. Normal range for platelets is between 150K and 400K and at one point while measured I was as low as 12K. The danger of low platelets is that your blood doesn't clot so you end up losing a lot of blood - especially if you have internal bleeding that you don't know about. Luckily I had decent health insurance with Playdom and it payed for the majority of a very expensive set of infusions ( well one is still outstanding but it should be covered ) that put me back in the normal range just before I got a new job and moved across country.

Do you know the way to San Jose?

In December of 2010 I knew my position at Playdom was going away and rather than get moved into a different position with the uncertainties of how long that would last I did something crazy and took a job in San Jose, CA working with Gaia Interactive. I started the week before New years. I can say this, the change has been really good. I love the job and I'm already loving the area but moving is a huge burden I don't want to do for a long time. Remember those health problems I spoke of? Well, it took some time to get records sent and new doctors set up for the family. I'm still having problems getting the hospital to send my records to a new hematologist so I can make sure my blood platelets are doing well - we think they sent my son's records instead. Getting my oldest in school took quite some time because of the doctors issues and California has some requirements that North Carolina didn't. I spent the first month splitting my time between work ( learning the code base mostly ) and finding a house for us to rent. My wife was still in NC so I was looking without her and relaying as much info, pictures and video as I could. That was very worrisome, especially as our move date got closer, but in the end it looks like we found an amazing house with a great people as landlords. As you can imagine, there was much more to the move than these things but those are the ones that stick in my mind as the big stressors.

2011 and beyond

Now that I am settled ( mostly ), what is the plan for the future. Well, that will come out through future Wednesday Warrior posts. The point is, with the air cleared, I am ready to create in the warrior space again. I hope this post will help other warriors see that the path is not an easy one but if you live your life through love and commitment your inner warrior has the strength to see thing through.

I have already begun some personal quests for my inner warrior and I will sharing those in upcoming posts. Also, my new home has centralized me to some great sanctuaries for personal growth. I will share those as well.

Do you have a rough journey you have been or are currently on? I'd love to hear about it. Post it in the comments or post a link to your own post in the comments below. Until then, stay strong and love on.

Earth Father - awakening my sacred masculine

The 9th metaphor in the book The Hidden Spiruality of Men - Ten Metaphors to Awaken the Sacred Masculine is titled earth father. For me my journey into men's studies and down the spiritual path of the sacred masculine comes from asking questions about being a father. In my first post on numinous masculine sexuality I discussed how sexuality and questioning how to raise 2 boys to not be ashamed of sex like I was (and still am somewhat) was a major catalyst for this exploration. Between my first steps, in the book Fire in The Belly and currently these Wednesday Warrior posts I focused on much more of what it means to be masculine and that has guided me quite well on my fatherhood journey.

Earth Father - sacred masculine central

Fatherhood is central to the sacred masculine. From this book alone you can see how it is linked to each of the other 9 metaphors:

• Father Sky - Also a father metaphor, father sky is more distant than the Earth Father. One must not forget the importance of solitude and space in masculinity/fatherhood which Father Sky provides.
• The Green Man - This one is linked as another earth metaphor. Earth Father is grounded, much like the Green Man. Being a good steward of our planet is a great way to provide for our children and our children's children.
• Icarus and Daedalus - Another father metaphor, or a rather a parable to learn from. Fathers must not only be willing to teach their children, but learn from them as well.
• Hunter-Gatherers - In modern society this is hard to see. Where are the rites of passage from boyhood to manhood ? How can we as men create the important psychological and spiritual aspects of these for our children?
• Spiritual Warriors - As a father, what do we fight for? What do we value? We reap what we sow in regards to the Spiritual Warrior's connection to the Earth Father. We must lead by example.
• Masculine Sexuality, Numinous Sexuality - I do not want my sons to learn that sex = shame. I want them to be powerful individuals in all aspects of their lives.
• Our Cosmic and Animal Bodies - As fathers how do we take care of our bodies? Our children's? Once again, leading by example has us teach our children respect for themselves.
• The Blue Man - In all the trials and tribulations of fathering, there must be compassion, there must be a loving heart.
• Grandfather Sky:The Grandfatherly Heart - The father begets the grandfather, 'nuff said :)

[ad#Books Banner]

Earth Father - not just for fathers

While the earth father and fathering are central to the sacred masculine they do not refer only to literal fatherhood. Literal fatherhood is just the most obvious place to access it. In a post ( or two ) on my old blog I discussed Mr. Miyagi from the Karate Kid. No one would say that there is not an earth father being portrayed in those films and yet he is not a literal father. A powerful force, the mentor. The mentor spreads earth father energy out into the community. Perhaps you have a memory of a teacher that became your mentor at one point. They are out there and you can be one too. It doesn't take much but time and caring, but mostly caring.

Paternal energy doesn't stop with men either. The earth father's paternal energy can be tapped into by women ( and is ) in the same way that men can tap into the earth mother's maternal energy. A literal father and literal mother both tap into paternal and maternal energies, it takes both to raise a child.

Being a stand for the community

The Earth Father takes a look at the world he is leaving for his children, and his children's children, and strives to make it the best he can make it for them. To do this he must stand for his community and in his community. Helping others and helping the environment are the keys. For a while I've been wondering if I could find a mens group in my area. Recently I've actually thought about the possibility of actually being the one to create a mens group in my area for this very reason. By being a stand for those around us to be great, we get to live in greatness.

These are of course my take on earth father energies. I'd love to hear others. Perhaps you aren't a literal father and have a take on it. Maybe you are a grandfather who has reach the next level of fatherhood. Maybe you are a woman reading this and care to share with us your perspective. Whatever your view I'd love to hear it in the comments. Of course, keep in mind that I barely touch the topic and this is a great book to read yourself as you will most likely get something else out of it than I.

[ad#Google Adsense] If you liked this post please subscribe to myRSS Feed and/or follow me on Twitter. If you only want to read my Wednesday Warrior posts subscribe to the Wednesday Warrior feed. Until next time, thanks for reading.

Numinous, Masculine Sexuality, part 1 - Awakening my sacred masculine

Welcome the first part of metaphor 6 on my journey through the book "The Hidden Spirituality of Men - Ten Metaphors to Awaken the Sacred Masculine" by Matthew Fox. If this is your first time reading my blog you might want to at least read the initial post on the book. You can also check out other posts in the series. Beyond that, read on. Here it is, the metaphor on sexuality. This metaphor was the most confronting to start reading. I put it off both subconsciously and consciously for about 2 weeks. At the same time, masculine sexual energy is a major reason I started looking into the men's studies movement. As a father of two boys, I kept questioning whether or not I would know how to speak powerfully to them about sex when the time comes.

Being raised in an all (powerful) female household I really never had a male figure I trusted to discuss these things with and I was already ashamed about how other men treated women. Initially, the question of masculine sexuality pulled me on this journey through the sacred masculine and I was afraid of this metaphor the most ( my ego was definitely shaking in its boots ). [ad#Google Adsense] When I finally read the chapter, I breezed through it and got a lot of information. I felt much more comfortable and saw the bigger picture of the sacredness of sexuality. When I reread it before writing this article I noticed how much I missed. Realizing that my subconscious probably zoned out on the first pass, I made an effort to take in the information inside this book.

I feel I must say one thing before moving on. This article is about sexuality as it concerns the sacred masculine. It is meant as a serious spiritual discussion. Watch where you find yourself giggling as that is where you are probably missing out sacrament of sex. Read on if you are ready.

Masculine Sexuality, Numinous Sexuality

In order to best stay true to what I got from this metaphor I will be following the sections of the chapter and use those headings. One distinction is very important for this metaphor - the distinction between spirituality and religion in regards to sexuality. Long before the religions of today, people treated sex as a spiritual experience. Many current religions treat sex as a sin.

"Our Western institutional religious tradition has essentially repressed and distorted the sexual instinct and thereby created a variety of personal and social pathologies. In doing so it has also effectively removed sexuality from its religious foundations."

Also keep in mind that

"...for most people the experience of sex is more powerful than their experience of religion."

This must be because during sex we are making a strong connection to the sacred and during religious ceremonies we may be holding some of the spiritual energies back. [ad#Books Banner]

Ancient Sacred Metaphors of Sexuality

There are ancient temples that still exist that obviously worship the male phallus. Because they still exist people get a sense of the awe. In this space of awe one has the ability to experience joy and pleasure through intercourse and other forms of sex. What must it be like to worship masculine sexual energy without shame?

Sexuality and Shame:A Western Inheritance

I've written before how much of being a man can be summed up in one word, shame. When it comes to sex it is felt by the truckload. I've grown up in the Western world where sex is considered dirty ( and that being dirty is a bad thing ). While it is generally considered okay for men to want sex, only the hunt is really accepted. The act itself, the connection to ones partner and to the universe are not given their due. As such men's stories about sex are about quantity and/or domination rather than quality and connectedness. If a man does talk about the spirituality of sex people often don't listen or if they do they believe the man to be boasting about prowess. [ad#Google Adsense] Yes, having fun with sex, enjoying it is even worse in Western culture. Which brings up another issue, roleplaying. In western culture there is some of this that occurs, but even it gets perverted to the point that the roleplaying is not used for connectedness but to create more separation. A separation between the people involved and a separation from the full experience of it. Roleplaying isn't just about wearing costumes, though that can be part of it. Its about having fun with your partner and looking for new experiences together. Its important to switch roles occasionally. Switch who's on top and who's on bottom ( both physically and metaphorically ) to make sure both people get the full experience. Passion equals play, so to keep the spark going have some fun together.

The Many Names of Sexuality

I've used the word sexuality so many times that you may have thought I was only talking about sex. There are many other names used in the book and I would like to share a few that you may not be thinking of.

• Union
• Laughter
• Joy
• Surrender
• Healing
• The Sacred Masculine
• The Divine Feminine
• Hope
• Creativity
• Music

This list is less extensive than what is in the book. In the book they also add the point that you can most likely add more of your own. So as we discuss sexuality realize that we are discussing so much more than intercourse. [ad#Books Banner]

The Lover's Revelation

Did you know that the Bible devotes and entire book to praising sexual love as divine? I didn't but the author mentioned time and again that Song of Songs does just that. Despite my less than biblical path to spirituality, I'm intrigued to see what it says.

Religions around the world have spent some if not a lot of time discussing divinity of sexual love. Why? What do we get from it? As you look closely you see that we get more than we thought. There is the connected to another person, the connectedness to the universe. I've heard a comic describe how sex is weird because a man (who usually focuses on one thing) has to focus on many things at once and a woman (who usually splits focus between many things ) has to focus on one thing. This is funny because of the truth in it ( and he had much better delivery than my writing ). It shows that through sexual love we also gain perspective.

As one studies the power of numinous sexuality one also sees the importance of mutuality. Sexual energy is shared when used positively. This also lets us see a little of the shadow energies most often associated with (masculine) sexuality. The shadow energy of sexuality comes out as domination instead of mutual physical love. Some of this shadow energy comes because of the repression of sexuality in our culture. It is such a powerful part of our spirits that it will come out. That is why it is important to embrace what it truly is so that it can flow powerfully.

Intermission

These sacred masculine posts are growing quite long, and in order to give this one enough time I am breaking it up into two parts. Part two of Numinous Masculine Sexuality will cover sperm, male infertility, sexual diversity, what heterosexuals can learn from homesexuals and how to approach sexuality as sacred. Until next week, what sorts of thoughts did this article spark for you in the realm of sacred sexuality? Does any of this ring true for you or do you think I'm barking up the wrong tree? Please leave your comments below or send a private message through this blog's contact page. [ad#Google Adsense] If you liked this post please subscribe to my RSS Feed and/or follow me on Twitter. If you only want to read my Wednesday Warrior posts subscribe to the Wednesday Warrior feed. Until next time, thanks for reading.

Spiritual Warriors - Awakening my hidden masculine

This was by far the most exciting metaphor for me to read in The Hidden Spirituality of Men, before I even read it. As someone who has struggled with aggression in the past and learned to be passive instead this was something I needed to read. My image of a warrior was not a good one. I have repressed many of my warrior traits and here was a metaphor that spoke about it powerfully. There was some talk of the difference between a soldier and a warrior that intrigued me. [ad#Google Adsense]

The Spiritual Warrior

When talking about a spiritual warrior you need to keep in mind the context of the "Great Work." The work is not something that we have chosen but a task that we must take. It is the task of moving modern industrial civilization from its present devestating influence on the Earth to a more benign mode of presence. This work can take many forms, but one must keep it in mind when learning about true warrior energy.

What is a spiritual warrior and why is it important?

The spiritual warrior is the metaphor that helps to answer 2 questions that have come up so far on our journey - what to do with male aggression and what to do with competition. The spiritual warrior teaches us how to steer both into healthy directions. So how does aggression usually show up in our world? It shows up in war, conquest ( including business or sex ), passivity, selfish competition and more negative outlets of aggression. Competition was part of that list and too often it shows up as selfish competition in our world. Competition where I have to win and you must lose. Though these traits and actions are often associated with warriors they should not. The problem arises from the fact that too many people have collapsed the term warrior with that of a soldier.

[ad#Google Adsense]

Warrior, soldier - what's the difference?

A soldier takes orders from other people while a warrior takes orders from the soul. You can see this represented in movies such as Dances With Wolves where at first he is a soldier following orders but he becomes a warrior fighting for what his soul knows is right. The same thing happens in real life when veterans go to war and come back home and march with their brothers against the war the themselves had fought in. The spiritual warrior also doesn't take orders from society when there is a "Great Work" that needs to be accomplished. Martin Luther King, Jr., Gandhi and Ralph Nader are examples of warrior spirits that take orders from their own souls instead of from society.

The warrior is in touch with his heart - the joy, the sadness, the expansiveness of it. The warrior, unlike the soldier, is a lover. The warrior is so much in touch with his heart that he can give it to the world. The warrior loves not only his nearest kin and mate but also the world and God. The warrior relates to God as a lover. This is different than the soldier who relates to God as Judge. This difference brings to mind a quote from the movie, The Man in The Iron Mask. In it D'Artagnan (Gabriel Byrne) tells King Louis XIV (Leonardo DiCaprio) about how Athos (John Malkovich) had taught him "Each time I draw my sword I should consider, not what I was killing but what I was allowing to live". I love that statement. In that statement lives the distinction between a soldier and a warrior.

[ad#Google Adsense] [ad#Google Adsense]

Sounds great, how does one become a warrior?

The warrior fight begins with first overcoming yourself and your own demons. Some demons seems small, like the limitations we put on ourselves when we say "I can't." Other demons are larger, such as pride that has us go to battle over namecalling or someone stepping on your shoe. Martial Arts and meditations are two great was to begin to overcome yourself and your own demons. These disciplines are great places to study the 8 principles of a warrior: inner peace, tranquility, love, power, strength, honor, majesty, respect. Turn each of these 8 principles both inward as well as outward. Some principles such as power, strength and majesty often get perverted when they are turned inward only. If you want power, strength and majesty for yourself but you don't give it to others it leads you down a spiral away from the true warrior and into its shadow energy.

This doesn't mean you won't slip on your warrior journey. A warrior is human after all and it is important for a warrior to be humble. It is this humility that is part of another important aspect of a warrior - being non-judgmental. A warrior knows that others don't win every internal battle because they themselves do not win every battle. Judgment comes from inexperience, not having experienced losses against personal demons. A warrior has experienced losses, because he has fought battles, and thus does not judge others. These experiences make the warrior humble.

[ad#Google Adsense]

How do spiritual warriors relate to fear?

"In our tradition, we believe that fear is the door in the heart that lets evil spirits in. Thus all prayer is a strengthening of the heart to keep fear at bay."

-Buck Ghosthorse

Fear is built into our brains in order to keep us alive. Stay away from that ledge you might fall and die. That lion sounds hungry, it's best to stay away. These make sense on the level of physical survival. As our brains have developed fear has morphed beyond the death of our physical bodies and now shows up when our egos are threatened. It is the fear that comes up when our egos are threatened that gets in the way of our true selves. Our ego must die in order for our true selves to come out. Our ego is the biggest, baddest inner demon there is. It is always there and will never go away. For example, listening is a warriors art. In order to listen we must let go of the fear that our ego "who knows everything" will be destroyed if we listen to someone else (or to our true self). In order to truly listen we must give up the notion that we know everything and our ego fights us on that, but it is a battle we can easily win. The Kennedy quote on fear is an adaptation of the Buddha quote that sums it all up,

"There is nothing to fear. If there is anything at all to fear, fear only yourself!"

[ad#Google Adsense] [ad#Google Adsense]

How to become a warrior redux.

Warriorhood is a journey, not a destination. It is a journey that takes us on four different and intertwining paths. The positive path, the negative path, the creative path and the transformative path.

The positive path the celebration of life. The world is beautiful and the warrior is open to this beauty. Cynics focus on the lack of grace and generosity in the world, the warrior is thankful for all the examples in the world that he sees.

The negative path takes the warrior into the darkness so that he may see the light. He does this through solitude, facing internal demons and letting go of those demons. The warrior learns from this process who he is, is helps him be humble. the darkness also helps he on the positive path. After being through whatever hells the darkness may bring, the positive path can be enjoyed even more passionately.

The creative path, or rather creativity is the true weapon of a spiritual warrior. The very nature of the Great Work requires him to do something new, something he must create. Samurai warriors studied ikebana, a specialized form of flower arrangement as a practice to keep their weapon honed. A warrior is an artist who works for the people that they might live.

The transformative path is the path of self reflection. A true spiritual warrior is humble after all. The warrior is always checking to make sure what they are creating includes justice and compassion. Without this test, a warrior could easily tap into his shadow energy. The shadow energy could create something that looks like justice without compassion or compassion that gets nothing done. With both justice and compassion, real momentum can be made in the Great work. The way to the transformative path is linked closely with the creative and the negative paths. The warrior comes up with his great work, but then he must test it.  Inside these tests he ensures that it is truly a Great Work of justice and compassion. He must look and see if there is a darkness to his work and revisit the creative path as he hones the idea further.

[ad#Google Adsense] [ad#Google Adsense]

What is the shadow form of warrior energy?

Unfortunately there are many false prophets out there ( and inside ourselves ). They worry more about the destination and so they do not fully take the 4 paths of a warrior. Some give in to fear and let it guide them. Ultimately, what is missing is the Great Work - the TRUE Great Work. Remember, a Great Work is the task of moving modern industrial civilization from its present devastating influence on the Earth to a more benign mode of presence. Some works are big and seem grand but have they passed the test of justice and compassion? For instance, recently California's proposition 8 made it so that marriage in California is only between a man and a woman instead of between a man and a man or woman and a woman. In the most recent elections this big work to ensure marriage between is only between a man and a woman continued in other states with similar propositions. If we test this against justice, some might think it passes. However, when tested against compassion it fails miserably and thus is not a great work. If we look closer we can see that this work is guided by fear and fear is, as Buck Ghosthorse said, the door in the heart that lets evil spirits in. Despite this works religious core, it is not spiritual. But, warriors are out there making a difference using their creative energy. Just today I read an article about a man who is working on an initiative in California to ban divorce. He isn't doing it because he truly believes it should be banned, but rather as satire of the importance of government protecting the sanctity of marriage.

[ad#Google Adsense]

Conclusion

So the warrior is an important part of the male psyche. I would say it isn't actually a metaphor but a true part of being a man ( and most likely of being human - though feminine energy might show up slightly differently ). Can you see the difference between the warrior and a soldier? Do you see the importance? I have mentioned a few well known warriors in this post, Martin Luther King Jr., Gandhi and Ralph Nader. But there are many more out there. Who are the warriors you thought of as you read this? You might have thought of someone but discounted them because they won't be found in history books - if their work passes the test of compassion and justice is follows the description of a Great Work they most likely are a warrior. I'd love to hear who you see as a warrior or better yet when have you seen yourself as a warrior.

For myself, while rereading this chapter for the post I have seen the warrior show up internally, as it should at first. In my running I used it to finish a long run where mental blocks were keeping me from finishing. My creative side started playing music again. The positive path has had me enjoy music passionately for the first time in a long time. I like the warrior, it is good and powerful energy. It is for that reason that I have decided to make my men's studies posts on Wednesdays and call them my Wednesday Warrior posts. ( I also laughed at the idea of making a shirt that says ,"I'm a warrior" on the front and "...on Wednesdays" on the back )

Next we will take a look at the most difficult chapter/metaphor for me to be with the chapter on numinous sexuality.  That is the chapter that I made up all sorts of reasons, both consciously and unconsciously, to put off reading for a few weeks. But I read it, and I'm glad I did. Now is the time to reread it for next weeks Wednesday Warrior post. Until then I wish you a powerful journey.

[ad#Google Adsense]

Awakening my sacred masculine - a powerful dream.

I've always approached my study of masculinity as a journey.  Many visions occur to me every time I read a men's studies book.  Some are dark and others are mysterious.  Either way these visions are powerful and often come in a dream.  Reading "The Hidden Spirituality of Men – Ten Metaphors to Awaken the Sacred Masculine" has been no different.  Last night I had a dream that I knew was part of my journey.

The dream and the conclusions I come to are related to chapters I have not discussed yet.  I will try to share enough to explain the references.

The following dream actually came on a night when I fell asleep attempting to connect with "The Blue Man" metaphor described in the book. The dream is simple - I'm in charge of an alternative school of some sort that is being shut down by someone who has sent in soldiers to apprehend me. At this point I have the thought that if I can just get in a room and close the door they won't be able to get to me. I make my way down the hall towards my office. Finally, I reached my office and closed the door. Feeling safe from the soldiers, I look out the window. All the parents and teachers are standing outside in a group. They are standing in support of the school and me. They may be singing but I don't really hear anything. At this point my wife asks me the question,"Why are they shutting down the school?" My answer was this,"because Michael Jackson is running the music department and my second in command/right hand man is a woman or maybe I should say my right hand woman is a man." (I was trying to say my second is command was a gay man).

I don't remember anything else after that. When I woke up I just knew it was an important dream. I started wondering if I needed to open up some type of school.

After my run this morning I had a chance to discuss the dream with my wife and as I did many things became clear.  This dream did not say I needed to run a school but it was full of metaphors directly related to chapters of the book I had recently read.  First, the soldiers.  There is a distinction in the chapter on Spiritual Warriors between soldiers and warriors.  Soldiers do what they are ordered to do and warriors are instead guided by their values and their hearts.  The fact that soldiers were doing what they were ordered to do but did not have the heart to break through a simple door is not suprising.  Then there is group of parents and teachers who were standing up for me and the school.  This is my community, who are a stand for me to succeed in running my school.  My school is men's studies and Daryl Joseph Ducharme studies for that matter.  Seeing my blue man, I was studying the difference I could create in the world.

Then we come to the reason's anyone would want to shut such an important school down.  First there is having Michael Jackson as the musical director.  One chapter on the body began to discuss chakras.  The first chakra, located in the tailbone ( called the sacrum which literally means sacred bone ) is about vibration.  In discussing this chakra the sub chakras in the knees and the feet were discussed.  This brought up the importance of dance in connecting with Gaia.  So many religions throughout time relate dance with the sacred.  For my generation there was none more recognized for dance than Michael.  In fact, he was in my mind throughout the discussion about dance.  What about my second in command they didn't like because he was gay?  That came directly from the chapter on numinous sexuality.  In the middle section of this long chapter the discussion revolved around the spiritual connections that homosexuals tend to have.  In fact, many native tribes revered homesexuals as spiritual leaders.  While I have never considered myself homophobic, I realized there was a part of me that was.  It was the part that decides I didn't want to do something because maybe I didn't think it was masculine enough.  By cutting myself off from these experiences I cut myself off from the sacred and the spiritual essence of my masculinity.  Well no more.  Now I will allow myself to have experiences that will have me live life.

This dream was an awesome experience.  In the past, I have had dreams related to whatever ontological journey I was currently undergoing.  Almost always they have had a very dark nature to them.  This dream, while it had a dark nature, gave me more hope than any of the dreams I have had in the past.  It inspired me.  As I delve into the chapters that this dream touched on I will discuss these references even more.  I had to get the dream down while I still remembered it.

Awakening my sacred masculine - Father Sky

This post is my first follow up to my post about The Hidden Spirituality of Men - Ten Metaphors to Awaken the Sacred Masculine.  In that previous post I said I would share my journey of reading this book.  This is part of that journey. The book itself is split up into 2 parts.  The first part, Ten Archetypes of Authentic Masculinity, covers the 10 metaphors alluded to in the book's title.  As I read this part of the book I will be making a posts related to each metaphor.  These posts won't be reviews of the chapters as much as they will be my own personal visions and conclusions gained from reading the metaphors.  At this time I have already read the sections on the first 5 metaphors so I may relate to some of the other metaphors.  This is expected, as these metaphors of masculinity are strongly linked.

Father Sky: The Cosmos Lives!

Father Sky is the partner of Mother Earth.  Religions have often placed the sky ( or heavens ) as the home to the gods.  Father sky is the air we breathe and the vacuum of space that is the universe beyond our planet's atmosphere.  Father sky is an obvious, but in modern times elusive, spiritual metaphor.

This first chapter didn't call to me as much from just reading it.  There was one suggested made in the chapter that I took, and that was to take a look at the Worldwide Telescope by Microsoft Research. This website has an tool ( both online and downloadable ) that combines images and data from telescopes around the world to give you an amazing view of space.  I spent a good chunk of time just looking around at all the different heavenly bodies available to me through this tool.

After using the worldwide telescope, I had a greater connection to father sky in the rest of my daily lives.  I recently started a running program, called Couch to 5K (C25K) out of both a desire to run and have a greater connection the The Green Man ( the 2nd metaphor ).  On my first run, I got connected more with my green man but I feel that I could finally see father sky.  I run in the mornings and the moon was still in the sky.  Instead of running with my head down, my head was up and I was aware of all the trees which reach up to connect the earth to the sky and the birds as they soar.  As I type this, I think I will pay more attention to my breathing while running as well.  After all, father sky represents all that is in the sky including the air.

This chapter also reminded me of something I remember seeing in the past.  I remember that a native tribe in Washington had been given the right to punish a teen through their own traditions.  This meant putting him, alone, on a small island for a length of time.  One of the elders was talking to him about praying.  He told him not to bow down and avert his eyes from the spirits above, instead he should look up and open his arms to father sky so that he may be connected to him.

The first metaphor, by itself did not make as big of an impression on me as some of the others already have.  However, in connecting with father sky I have gained connections that I have not had in a long time.  I once again look at the sky with awe.  The stars and the planets, the clouds and wind are all a part of me again.  In a world that tries to keep us grounded it is important to stay connected with the stars.

The next metaphor is The Green Man.  As I have already read that chapter I will be writing that one soon.  Until then, what does father sky mean to you and/or the men in your life?